What Takes Priority?

I refuse to do both: (1) steaks are expensive, these should be a rare treat. (2) BJs are nice, but kinda when I feel like handing them out. Which one takes priority on this most sacred of days?
– Lauren

Dear Lauren,

The BJ takes priority on March 14. If you have the money to spend, then buy a delicious steak as well. Since you feel steak is a rare treat, just remember that Steak and BJ Day only comes around once a year.

Girlfriend Out Of Town?

My gf is out of town on business but will be back for a few days the week before Steak & BJ Day. Is it permissible to partake of the holiday the week before?
– TDS

Dear TDS,

Yes, it is acceptable to celebrate the holiday a week in advance if circumstances will prevent the two of you from being together on March 14. A week later, you both will have a wonderful memory to cherish while being apart.

No Meat During Lent?

We are a Catholic family, and Steak and BJ Day is on Friday during Lent this year. I don’t know if you are familiar with Lent, but steak is forbidden for us during this time. What can my husband and I do? Help me please!!
– Hungry For Meat

Dear Hungry For Meat,

Steak and BJ Day can still be celebrated during Lent. Since steak is the supplemental portion of the holiday, the meat can be replaced with something else. I understand some Catholics follow different “food rules” than others during Lent, so it is difficult for me to tell you what to serve. Fish or chicken may be an appropriate substitute for steak if your church allows it during the Lenten season; a vegetarian burger is also acceptable. A cheese pizza can also work for your situation. The key is to make sure your husband gets to eat something he likes on March 14.

Day Of Pi?

March 14 is also Pi Day (3.14- get it?). Can my boyfriend and I celebrate both Steak and Blowjob Day and Pi Day?
– Cute Nerdy Girl

Dear Cute Nerdy Girl,

Yes, you both can celebrate Steak and BJ Day and Pi Day as long as you don’t let it lose the meaning behind Steak and BJ Day (which is a day for you to make him to feel special).

Holiday In Exchange For A Horse?

MinihorseHello, I am a horsewoman and own a couple of very nice horses with my husband. There is a mini horse local to me for sale (see picture) and I realllllly want to buy him but my husband said no. We have the space, time and money to care for the pony. Is it ok to do a Steak and BJ Day to manipulate him into saying yes?
– FJ

Dear FJ,

No, you can not use the holiday to manipulate your husband into buying you something. In order to maintain a successful relationship, manipulation should never be used. Celebrate Steak and BJ Day if your husband took care of you on Valentine’s Day and not to gain something in return. In addition, please have an open and honest conversation with your husband (on a day other than March 14) to find out the true underlying reason why he said no to the horse.

Both At The Same Time?

The crew of the 16Bit Assassins podcast would like to know exactly how epic getting the bj whilst eating the steak would be, we here at the 16Bit Assassins podcast look forward to an answer only one trained in the judiciary arts, such as yourselves could provide.
Sincerely,
The 16Bit Assassins Podcast

Dear 16Bit,

The thought of eating a steak while receiving a BJ may sound epic, but the reality is that the choking hazard is increased since the body may have a hard time multi-tasking. Depending on what is happening below the plate, taking an unintentional deep breath with a mouth full of food can be dangerous and end up ruining the special day. In addition, keeping both activities separate will help make the holiday feel like it lasted longer.

With that said, there is not a right way or wrong way. I have seen emails from men who successfully accomplished both activities at the same time, and their reviews were equivalent to the emails from men who experienced both activities separately throughout the day.

Is Giving A Gift Ok?

Filed under Ask The Judge

Hi Judge. I was wondering if it is ok to give my husband a gift for steak and blowjob day? I gave him a gift on Valentine’s day every year, but now I’ll only celebrate his day in March so he can concentrate on me in February. Don’t worry. He will already be getting a blowjob and nice dinner at a local steakhouse.
– Christina P.

Dear Christina,

While gifts are not a requirement for Steak and BJ Day, everyone can celebrate the holiday their own way. Remember, the purpose of the holiday is to show your man how special he is to you. In addition to receiving a nice dinner and blowjob, your husband will enjoy the holiday even more with a gift.

If you need gift ideas for your man, there is an interesting list on this website in the Valentine’s Day Tips section.

My Birthday Is March 14?

Filed under Ask The Judge

Steak And BJ Day is the same day as my birthday. What do you suggest since my birthday is MY day?
– Kate

Dear Kate,

Most people can agree that your birthday should be a day about you. If you can’t celebrate Steak and BJ Day on March 14, for any reason, then it is acceptable to celebrate the holiday a day or two early. I do not recommend celebrating after March 14 since it is easy to forget about a holiday once it has passed.

Is Grilled Chicken Ok?

My boyfriend’s favorite food is grilled chicken. Is this ok or do I need to make him a steak?
– Leslie

Dear Leslie,

The word “steak” can be substituted for any other food choice that your boyfriend likes. Serving your boyfriend his favorite dish, either before or after giving him a blowjob, will make Steak and BJ Day special for him.

No Red Lobster On Valentine’s Day?

My boyfriend told me about this holiday so I looked it up and found your website. We spent Valentine’s Day at his brother’s basketball game. No flowers and no Red Lobster. Now he tells me I need to suck his dick in March. WTF?
– Mad As Hell

Dear Mad As Hell,

Your boyfriend made no effort to make Valentine’s Day a special day for you. Due to this, you are not required to put any effort into making Steak and BJ Day a special day for him. Please explain to your boyfriend that if he wants to celebrate the male version of Valentine’s Day in March, then he will need to celebrate your holiday on February 14.

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